There are many factors that contribute to women deciding to stay in an abusive relationship. If you’re in a physically abusive relationship, please consider the following tips to help keep you and your children safe until the time comes when you are able to leave. These suggestions are adapted from women’s Law and NCDSV websites.
- The abuser may have patterns to his/her abuse. Be aware of any signs that show s/he is about to become violent. If it looks like violence may happen, try to remove yourself and your children from the situation.
- Be aware of anything the abuser can use as a weapon. Try and keep any sharp or heavy objects out of the way, lock them up or make them hard to reach.
- Figure out where the “safer places” are in your home where there aren’t weapons within arm’s reach and go there when s/he becomes violent. Stay away from the kitchen, garage, or other room where items that can be used as weapons are kept.
- Protect your children. If the abuser does start to harm you, don’t run to where they are; the abuser may hurt them too.
- If there’s no way to escape the violence at that moment, make yourself a small target. Dive into a corner and curl up into a ball. Protect your face and put your arms around each side of your head, wrapping your fingers together.
- Try not to wear scarves or long jewelry. The abuser could use these things to strangle you.
- Plan the easiest escape route. Decide on a door or window to exit quickly and safely. Make sure your kids know the route and practice it with them. Have a code word so they know when to call the law enforcement.