What is Financial Abuse?
Financial abuse happens when an abuser takes control of finances to prevent the other person from leaving and to maintain power in a relationship. An abuser may take control of all the money, withhold it, and conceal financial information from the victim. Financial abuse happens often in physically abusive relationships. Financial abuse can also happen in elder abuse when a relative, friend, or caregiver steals money from an older person.
Signs of Financial Abuse
Often, financial abuse is subtle and gradual, so it may be hard to recognize. Your partner may act as though taking over the finances is a way to make life easier for you, as if he or she is doing you a favor. Your partner might explain that giving you a set amount of money will help keep your family on track financially. But slowly, the “allowance” becomes smaller and smaller, and before you know it, you are asking for money and being refused.
Some of the common ways that financial abuse happens includes:
- Urging you to or demanding that you quit your job or preventing you from working
- Stalking or harassing you at work
- Refusing to give you access to bank accounts and hiding or keeping assets from you
- Giving you a set amount of money to spend and no more
- Constantly questioning purchases you make and demanding to see receipts
- Making financial decisions without consulting you
- Stealing your identity or filing fraudulent tax returns with your name attached to them
- Selling property that was yours
- Filing false insurance claims with your name on them
- Not paying child support so you can’t afford rent, food, and other needed items
- Forcing you to open lines of credit
Effects of Financial Abuse
The short- and long-term effects of financial abuse can be devastating. In the short-term, access to assets is imperative to staying safe. Without assets, survivors are often unable to obtain safe and affordable housing or the funds to provide for themselves or their children. With realistic fears of homelessness, it is little wonder that survivors sometimes return to an abusive partner.
For those who manage to escape the abuse and survive initially, they often face overwhelming odds in obtaining long-term security and safety. Ruined credit scores, sporadic employment histories, and legal issues caused by the abuse make it extremely difficult to gain independence, safety, and long-term security.
What can I do to Protect Myself?
If the abuser has access to your credit cards, bank accounts, or Social Security number, they may try to open accounts in your name or deliberately try to ruin your credit in order to make it harder for you to leave the relationship. But you can take steps to protect yourself and your money, whether you stay in the relationship or leave.
- Keep your personal information safe. Call your credit card company and bank and ask them to change your PIN or access codes. Change your passwords on your personal computer or phone, including passwords you use to log into your bank or credit card accounts. Do not give the passwords to anyone else.
- Don’t co-sign a loan or another financial contract with an abuser. If the abusive partner doesn’t make payments on time or at all, you may be held responsible for the debt.
- Know the laws in your country before getting married. Laws are different in different countries about how debt, money, and other assets are handled, legally, between married partners. If you’re worried about a partner taking your money or hurting your credit, do not get married. Marriage is a legally binding contract between two people. If you’re worried about keeping financial independence after marriage, talk to a lawyer before getting married.
- Protect your credit. If your credit report shows activity that you don’t recognize contact your financial institution immediately. You can also request the credit bureau to issue a “fraud alert” in your name.
- Save your money. If you can do so safely, begin to save any money you can and put it in a place the abuser cannot get to. You might hide cash or items you can later sell, or you might open a bank account the abuser doesn’t know about. If you open a new account, be aware that mail associated with the account might come to your address.
- Use available resources. Some countries have assistance programs to help survivors of domestic violence with child care, transportation, health care, and job training. They can also help you find work while you get new housing, food assistance, and other support in place.
- Plan for a future job. You may worry that you don’t have enough education or job experience to get a good job without a partner. Child care or transportation might be a concern. Local domestic violence shelters can connect you to local resources to help with child care, transportation, health care, and job training. Many shelters can help you find work while you get new housing, food assistance, and other support in place.
- Know your job rights. If you have a job, know that many states have laws that protect your right to take time off to go to court for violence and abuse issues.
- Talk to a financial expert. An expert can help you make a step-by-step plan to repair your credit and rebuild your finances.
I’m Ready to Leave, What Should I do?
When you are getting ready to leave an abusive relationship, money issues may seem overwhelming. But you can take steps to care for yourself and your children. You may not have time to gather much information before you go. That’s OK. Collect what you can. The highest priority is getting out of the abusive relationship as safely as possible. Gather important documents for you and your children, such as birth certificates and Social Security cards. You might also try to get copies of health insurance cards and bank statements. These will increase your independence, and they will help with your case if you have divorce or child custody hearings. In case the abuser has opened credit cards in your name or other types of illegal financial activity, you should get a copy of your credit report.