Sexual coercion is unwanted sexual activity that happens when you are pressured, tricked, threatened, or forced in a nonphysical way. Coercion can make you think you owe sex to someone. It might be from someone who has power over you, like a teacher, landlord, or a boss. In a healthy relationship, you never have to have sexual contact when you don’t want to. Sexual contact without your consent is assault. No person is ever required to have sex with someone else.
What is sexual coercion?
Sexual coercion is unwanted sexual activity that happens after being pressured in nonphysical ways, that include:
- Being worn down by someone who repeatedly asks for sex
- Being lied to or being promised things that weren’t true to trick you into having sex
- Having someone threaten to end a relationship or spread rumors about you if you don’t have sex with them
- Having an authority figure, like a boss, property manager, loan officer, or professor, use their influence or authority to pressure you into having sex
How can I respond in the moment to sexual coercion?
Sexual coercion is not your fault. If you are feeling pressured to do something you don’t want to do, speak up or leave the situation. It is better to risk a relationship ending or hurting someone’s feelings than to do something you aren’t willing to do.
If the person trying to coerce you is in a position of power over you (such as a boss, landlord, or teacher), it’s best to leave the situation as quickly as possible. It might be difficult, but if you can report the person to someone in authority, you are taking steps to stop it from happening again. Some possible verbal responses include:
- “If you really care for me, you’ll respect that I don’t want to have sex.”
- “I don’t owe you an explanation or anything at all.”
- “You must be mistaken. I don’t want to have sex with you.”
Be clear and direct with the person trying to coerce you. Tell the person how you feel and what you do not want to do. If the person is not listening to you, leave the situation. If you or your family is in physical danger, try to get away from the person as quickly as possible. Call the police if you are in immediate danger.