There are many types of violence, each come with their own signs and we will explain each type separately on the “Forms of Abuse” page. However, the following questions contain possible signs of abuse, and they may also indicate having an unhealthy relationship. There is not necessarily a specific number of questions that you must say yes to, to indicate that you are in an abusive relationship, but if you answer yes to one or more of these questions and you are afraid then please get help.
Signs of abuse may include:
Keeping track of everything you do
Does your partner …
- Monitor what you’re doing all the time or ask where you are and who you’re with every second of the day?
- Demand your passwords to social media sites and email accounts?
- Demand that you reply right away to texts, emails, or calls?
- Prevent or discourage you from seeing friends or family?
- Prevent or discourage you from going to work or school?
Being jealous, controlling, or angry
Does your partner …
- Act very jealous, for example, constantly accusing you of cheating?
- Have a quick temper, so you never know what you will do or say that may cause a problem?
- Control how you spend your money?
- Control your use of medicines or birth control?
- Make everyday decisions for you that you normally decide for yourself (like what to wear or eat)?
Demeaning you
Does your partner …
- Put you down, for example, insult your appearance, intelligence, or activities?
- Humiliate you in front of others?
- Destroy your property or things that you care about?
- Blame you for his or her violent outbursts?
Physically harming or threatening to hurt you or loved ones
Does your partner …
- Threaten to hurt you, the children, or other people or pets in your household?
- Hurt you physically (such as hitting, beating, pushing, shoving, punching, slapping, kicking, or biting)?
- Use (or threaten to use) a weapon against you?
- Threaten to harm himself or herself when upsetting with you?
- Threaten to turn you in to authorities for illegal activity if you report physical abuse?
Forcing you to have sex or other intimate activity
Does your partner …
- Force you to have sex when you don’t want to through physical force or threats?
- Assume that consent for a sex act in the past means that you must participate in the same acts in the future?
- Assume that consent for one activity means consent for future activity or increased levels of intimacy (for example, assuming that kissing should lead to sex every time)?
If you think someone is abusing you, get help. Abuse can have serious physical and emotional effects.